An expatriate yankee in McLaughlin's court

Sunday morning--coffee, an orange, some granola, and.... The McLaughlin Group.

When I was in High School in Iowa, and just bubbling up into political consciousness, I woke up one sunday morning to the sound of my dad's infectious giggling. I went downstairs to find my dad drinking coffee in front of the TV, shrieking with laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"Quentin, it's called the McLaughlin Group. It's hysterical. It's a political show, but this guy McLaughlin is just an asshole--he doesn't let anyone talk, tells them when they're wrong, and everyone basically fights to say one sentance."

I sat down and watched it, and have been doing so ever since. My dad and I would get up and watch the show Sunday mornings almost every weekend until I left for college in Massachusetts, and whenever I come home to visit, you can usually find us in the den on Sunday mornings. Out here in New England, unless I'm completely wasted at 10 AM, I usually find a way to drag myself to the TV and flip to PBS. Yes, my name is Quentin and I'm addicted to the McLaughlin Group.

For those of you who don't know, it's a political talkshow/cage match, hosted by a cantankerous and often incomprehensible old man named John McLaughlin. It has four panelists, who are corralled by McLaughlin, and given often impossible questions to answer. Here are the usual suspects:

Pat Buchanan--paleo-con and several time presidential loser. Once debated Ralph Nader. Scarily enough, often a voice of reason against....
Tony Blankley--smarmy and arrogant page editor for the Washington Times, former press secretary for Newt Gingrich, and general far-right mouthpiece.

Eleanor Clift--left-leaning contributing editor for Newsweek magazine. Often fights to talk over the condescending Blankley, but generally holds her own.

Beyond that, they have various other folks who show up to fill the seat and try to speak their peace. I've seen Clarence Page, Jay Carney, Lawrence O'Donnell (always entertaining), and various random talking heads whom I've forgotten.

I guess it's kind of similar to Crossfire, but don't give me no shit about that--not only is TMG way more violent, but it has something that nobody else has--John McLaughlin. I recently described the man as a random number generator, where patterns and meaning occasionally appear, but without the intention of the machine or it's creators. He asks questions that the commentators desperately strive to answer, often to no avail. He continually asks for predictions and rankings, and often prods his guests to rate something like political damage "on a scale of one to ten, one being no damage and ten being DESTRUCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!". He has no qualms about cutting off discussion and telling everyone why they're wrong, a trait once parodied with unnerving realism by Dana Carvey on SNL.

I could keep describing him, but honestly, he really defies encapsulation, like any force of nature in human form. I've tried to explain him to various people, and they either get him, or they don't, but usually they have to see the show to understand what I'm talking about. Thus, I recommend to you--put some coffee (maybe with some whiskey in it) on, curl up in front of the TV, and get ready for a half-hour of surreal and hysterical politics.

"Byeeee-byeeeee!"